Black Dragon Bog is the first of three (or four) Dungeons & Dragons book and recordings from Kid Stuff. Kid Stuff put out dozens of these things tied to every kid culture property imaginable and I kind of love them even though they are routinely pretty hard to listen to.

Basically, you read the story book along with the recording, which has a little chime to tell you when to turn the page. This one sees our old pal Strongheart the Paladin travelling with his Halfling thief buddy Figgin to the “Festival of the Halflings of the Plains of the Long Horned Sheep.” That is a direct quote.

The pair ask a woodsman for directions. The woodsman, rightly identifying Figgin as a thief, wants nothing to do with them. Figgin, confirming the woodsman’s suspicions, steals the man’s map. They are then held up by a locked gate, which the Halfling picks.

The pair then comes across the dragon and Figgin attempts to net it. When that doesn’t work (stupid Halfling), Strongheart beats it in the head with the flat of his blade until it slinks off. The pair then make it to the festival. The End.

At least the cover art is cool.

Fun fact – because of the font, this record is listed on Discogs as Black Dragon Boy which, given the cover art and the stature of Figgin doesn’t seem entirely inaccurate.