Tara Toy’s Dark Adventures Roll-a-Mat playset is further evidence that we peaked as a civilization circa 1983. I know Tara primarily as a manufacturer of carrying cases, so it makes sense that one of their few actual toy products would incorporate a cool case. It’s about the size of a flute case, maybe, and features a bas-relief of a serpent with jet wings, so we’re already at legendary status as far as I’m concerned. Open it up and there are a couple tackle box-like compartments for toys and cardboard bits (more on them in a second) and the titular vinyl play mat, which is on a window-shade-like roller. Sheer genius.

The mat depicts a castle in something like an isometric view, which doesn’t seem like the best use for a flat play surface, but it also features a gigantic skull in the courtyard that is eating a purple gem. In a sort of tesseract arrangement, the compartment’s cardboard lid, which can be set up as part of the tableau, depicts the entrance to the castle with a battle playing out at the gate. Somehow, above the entrance to the castle, you can also see the castle again, hovering above the castle? Best not to question this too much. There are a couple cardboard standees: a dragon, a giant snake and three evil, somewhat snake-like trees.

Now, the best part is the plastic dudes. Mine came with some standard issue dinosaurs that I thought were just misfiled by the previous owner, but a little poking around has convinced me they were in there originally. It’s possible that there is supposed to be a plastic treasure chest as well, though it is missing from my set. Then there are the little red guys which are a collection of half-inch or so robots. The bigger black figures are aliens. I don’t know why either group would be interested in skull castle, but whatever.

The robots appear to be original. If they come from elsewhere, I can’t find the source. They’re comical and adorable. The black ones, though, are knock-offs of Colorform’s Outer Space Men. These were originally designed and produced in 1968 as a set of seven bendy figures that were about 6-inch scale. A second set of six, smaller (about 2.5-inch scale) bendies came out later (I think). This hard plastic Tara Toys seem to be bootlegged from those smaller bendies (which is fair enough, probably, since Orbitron there is clearly “inspired” by the Metaluna Mutant from This Island Earth and Electron, with the box on his chest, is The Man from Planet X). They’re fantastic designs, so psyched to have them, even if the whole accidental science fantasy thing that is going on here smacks of some guy in warehouse rooting through bins to make a new “play set.” I love them even more because of that, maybe?